Hello Soul Doctor

It’s about my business. I run a nice boutique in a good part of town but I have a very high staff turn-over and I think this is affecting my output. I can’t seem to find good Christian people to recruit. A few previous staff became extremely resistant to our morning prayer sessions and resigned. Many are rude and disrespectful. My pilferage rate is also very high. I’m a middle aged woman and I’m beginning to see this as a personal problem. Why don’t people respect me? Even my relatives treat me badly! Is there anything I could be doing wrong? I just don’t know what to do. Please help me.

O.S

Answer

Dear OS
It appears that you are going through the same difficulties that most businesses face every day. But don’t let this affect your self esteem! It isn’t really an issue of respect.
Human Resource managers often say that you will need to interview up to 20 people to get one reasonable person who will work for you without a fight. Take another look at the job you are offering. Try drawing up a Job specification document. You should determine the knowledge, skills, and minimum qualifications that you are looking for in sales personnel. You can include criteria such as; age, gender, attitude, experience, integrity and creativity. Once you have this document, place an advert and recruit only the best ‘match’. Pilferage occurs when supervision is inadequate. Consider hiring a supervisor. Let everyone know that the cost of any missing items will be deducted from their pay packs. The set them sales targets and reward hard work!

Hello Soul Doctor

I really need your help! I think I’m losing my mind. I’m really depressed right now because I believe my husband is cheating on me! I have been married now for 5 years with 2 children. I have confronted him about this before and he asked for forgiveness. His Company sent him abroad for a 1 year training a few months ago and I have discovered that he is cheating again! Do I leave him? Please tell me what to do.

Answer

Hi!
I really sympathize with you! But I would like you to re-focus your mind on yourself and how you can achieve your own personal goals. You can also join an online women’s support or business group. This will really help you develop better coping skills. Then stop checking up on him! Don’t read emails or notes or letters sent to him. When he comes home don’t look through his pockets or his text messages! Just trust God and avoid making any accusatory or inflammatory remarks. Okay? Reinvent yourself. Men may sometimes wander off because of boredom. Try and remember the things he loved to see in your home and work out a plan to keep him engaged and interested

Hello Soul Doctor

I’m a young woman in her 20s and I’m in a stable relationship. Actually I met this nice guy 3 years ago and I really love him. But he hasn’t proposed to me yet and lately he has been behaving funny. Sometimes when I call him he won’t pick up his calls for days and he never has any explanation for his behavior. Now he says that I have to inform him whenever I wish to come over to his place. I’m really confused and depressed. I don’t even know whether he loves me or not and I’m scared of losing him. What do I do please?

S.L

Answer

Hello S.L!
You sound like a lovely young lady, but I’m afraid you are wasting your time on this man! To be honest, I don’t think you should continue with this relationship. From all indications he is no longer interested in the relationship and doesn’t know how to tell you! I doubt that such a man is ‘committed’ spending time with you. Please stop calling him. Let him know that you are no longer interested if need be. Yes- you will feel really down for a while but it’s better this way. Start afresh! Get active in a social group and get closer to God.

Hello Soul Doctor

Dear Soul Doctor I Feel like a complete failure! I had a lot of trouble with my grades in secondary school no matter how hard I tried. I’m now in University but I’m having trouble keeping up again. All my courses are so difficult! My parents are very upset with me right now and they think I’m a failure too! I wish I could prove to them that I can get through the course but I’ve been failing again. What can I do? I’m at my wits end!

T

Answer

Hello T
You are not a failure at all! I need you to stop ‘thinking’ failure and ‘talking’ failure! Sometimes the problem may be an academic mismatch. Sit down and write down all your gifts or natural talents. What do you love doing? Where would you like to see yourself in 3 years time? Many of us get into university just to get a degree. Difficulties may arise when our courses and our real interests don’t match. Is it too late to change your course? Probably not. Have a look at your other options based on fields of real interest. But If you can’t change your course, find someone in college who can help you with course work. Join reading groups. Pray for wisdom. You can also ask your parents to get you a tutor during the holidays. Don’t give up!

Hello Soul Doctor

I just want to know something about infertility. I have been trying for a while to get pregnant to no avail. How do I determine my fertile periods? My husband and I were separated for a while, due to a few misunderstandings, but we got back together a few months ago. We have a 5 year old daughter. I am over 40 now. Do you think my age has anything to do with this problem? Please advise.

Fearful

Answer

Dear fearful
There is still hope even from a medical perspective, but you need to be aware that it gets more difficult as a woman approaches 35 and beyond. There are also many associated risks of pregnancy at this age. Are your periods regular? It’s probably best to check out your hormonal levels first as hormonal problems may be responsible in women over 40. You can go to a good lab and ask for a fertility profile. If your hormonal levels are fine the doctor may want to check out the status of your fallopian tubes. When these tubes are blocked a woman’s fertilized eggs are unable to pass through the tubes into the womb and an ectopic pregnancy may occur.
In the absence of hormonal problems, a woman’s fertile period is usually 2 weeks before her next period. The first day of every period is counted as day 1.